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NAME: Moses Goldstein

DEPARTMENT: Numbers and Brains

BUST: D cup

WAIST: 14

HIPS: only one left

HEIGHT: Dwarfing

WEIGHT: 25 pounds

BIRTH DATE : The day of Paul Revere’s ride

BIRTHPLACE : Long Island Jewish Center

		EDUCATION: Yale with post doctorate at Harvard
		THE FIRST TIME I HAD SEX: raped when I was six by a vacuum cleaner.
		MY HOBBIES ARE: Playing with my balls, wrestling alligators, cliff diving, studying a 5000 year old dead language.
		BEST ADVICE : If you will it, it is no dream (etz chaim hym)
		AMBITIONS: To rule the world
		FAVORITE DRINK: Sacrificial blood
		TURN-ONS: 70’s bush, presidential candidates, girls who don’t talk, rolling around in $100 bills, hairy women.
		TURN-OFFS: Women who talk. Educated women.

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